Site Meter Parenting After Adoption » Blog Archive » I Am Not a Saint

I Am Not a Saint

by

Let me set the record straight . . .

I am not a saint!

As soon as people learn that Lucas was born in another country or that we adopted him at 5 years old or that we are adopting again in Haiti, more often than not, they launch into a spiel about my husband and I being saints and how fortunate our children are that we adopted them.

I just offer a polite smile and allow them to prattle on but I really want to say:

angel statueWell, actually, he is not lucky to have us. One day he was living with his family in Haiti and the next he was taken to an orphanage. Not long after that, strangers came and took him on a big airplane to fly to another country. I barely spoke his language and everything about his new home was very strange and scary. Where’s the good fortune there?

I am definitely not a saint. I have yelled at my kids, freaked out about something that really wasn’t worth the reaction I gave it, and fed my children cereal for dinner just minutes before bedtime. I throw tantrums when things don’t go my way, I snap at my husband and kids when I’m tired or overwhelmed. I am definitely not saint material.

I never say it because the socially acceptable response is to smile politely and give them the benefit of the doubt as well-meaning people.

Lately I have been wondering, “What is the message they are sending to my children?”

Are those born to me less fortunate? Should my adopted children feel eternally grateful that my husband and I adopted them? Is America inherently better than Haiti?

The answer is plain and simple: no.

Having a family and a life here is not inherently better than the life Lucas may have led with his family in Haiti had the chain of events in his life kept him there. Therefore, it is my opinion that he is not more fortunate to be here rather than there, and we are not saints for offering our hearts and home to him.

Copyright © 2008 Becky Wilson. All Rights Reserved.

Photo credit: PD Photo

, , , , , , , , ,


Posted in Education, General, My Thoughts on May 28th, 2008

Link to this Entry

Recent Posts

Related Posts

One Response to “I Am Not a Saint”

  1. Dillon Says:
    March 26th, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    The quality of the info is what keeps me on this site, thanks!

Leave a Reply


About Parenting After Adoption

Parenting after Adoption explores the unique, and often complex, experiences of parents raising children affected by adoption. Rebecca will share her experiences and insights as an adoptive mother raising children who were adopted and children who were born to her. She will discuss a wide variety of topics that include, but are not limited to: trauma, loss and grief; relationships with first families; inter-country, domestic, trans-racial and trans-cultural adoption; adopting siblings and siblings separated by adoption; language, development, school and much more.

Parenting After Adoption Author(s)

NAVIGATE

LINKS

CATEGORIES

TOP COMMENTERS

RECENT COMMENTS

SUBSCRIBE

ARCHIVES

Blogging Flair


Mandy's Moon Personalized Gifts

 

Parenting & Family Channel Links

 

Parenting & Family Channel Posts

  • Monsanto Roundup
    With nine million litres of Roundup sold each year all over the world, the American agrochemical group Monsanto holds a world record. For the first time, a study led by Gilles-Eric Séralini [...]
  • What a proud parent does?
    So, there’s the looming talk of “candy at school” but thus far my son doesn’t seem to be any the wiser about how the whole “no more candy” came to be.  I’m trying to be objective, [...]
  • To prove I’m not the perfect parent
    My children are having a hard time with the fact that their mommy has been gone quite a bit lately.  And, I’m home now with no chance of traveling for quite some time and hopefully, if I do [...]
  • Cooking with Kids
    Bo is a great helper. I love to make cookies with Peanut. It's our fun mother/daughter activity. For a while, every time she took a nap, she'd ask if we could make chocolate chips when she [...]
  • Sleep: A Chance to Dream and For Mom to Get a Break
    I love sleep. It is in my top five of favorite things to do. Having a baby kind of ruins this though! The Little Guy is slowly getting better at sleeping. Many mornings, he's out cold at [...]
  • So, I really hate to complain but candy? Really?
    Here’s the deal.  You all know that my son is a talker and that thus far his teacher has been more than a little bit receptive to the fact that he NEVER.SHUTS.UP.  She seems to be [...]
  • Ok, so let’s talking Parenting…mmmkay?
    Ok, so yea, I get it, I’m a parent but not everyone wants to hear me tell parenting stories.  So, I figure, I’ll give you one little parenting story and then guide you in the direction of [...]
  • Do You Pull Up?
    The other day, I was working. I really was. I was doing some research, and I happened upon an article about Tori Spelling. She talked about her son, Liam's, potty training process. Here's a [...]
  • Electroshocking Toddlers?
    American psychiatry still regards electroconvulsive therapy as a respected treatment, even for kids. Although ECT for young children is nowhere near as common as for adults, most U.S. states [...]
  • Babies having babies.
    Mama always said that she was a 'baby that had a baby' when she got pregnant with me a mere WEEK after her wedding to Papa. She and I still look like sisters (I'm the YOUNGER one, dammit!), and we [...]

 

Hot Off The Press