Parenting After Adoption

There are many reasons why homeschooling is a valid option for families who have adopted older children. For the purpose of this topic, I consider “older child” to be any child old enough for Kindergarten and above, but take what you need for your child, no matter her age.

Many children adopted at an older age have already been at an academic disadvantage and are likely not able to perform at grade level. Naturally there are exceptions, but the relative majority have struggled in school for various reasons, including the dynamics at home. If your child was adopted through inter-country adoption, he may not have attended school or his school attendance may have been sporadic. Whatever the reason, homeschooling is an option to consider for your child, either full-time or until he can catch up to his grade level.

When you homeschool, you have a variety of curriculum options that can be tailored specifically to her needs. Grade levels only matter for selecting material. If you know your 11-year-old is reading at a 3rd grade level and able to to math at a 1st grade level, you can purchase the appropriate materials. She can work at her own pace. Schools can do this to some degree, but they are not as prepared to offer the number of one-on-one hours you can accomplish when homeschooling.

Though not the rule, it is not uncommon for children adopted at an older age to have a difficult time with social skills. His efforts in navigating and surviving the world in his previous life before joining your family may have kept him in a “flight or fight” situation for so long that he can not think, feel or interact in any other way. If you adopted a child from another country, he must learn a new culture and social customs. By homeschooling, you can monitor your child while he interacts with others and coach him in socializing appropriately. You also have a higher concentration of hours to spend with him on his social skills.

In order for bonding and attachment to take place, you need to spend time with your child. By homeschooling, you have most of her waking hours to spend with your child thereby increasing your opportunities for bonding.

There are many reasons a family may choose to homeschool an older adopted child, but the four reasons listed above are the primary reasons most choose to do so. My family chose to homeschool our entire family the first year Lucas was home with us. Lucas needed the time at home getting to know us, learning English, and adapting to his new life. He needed to feel safe with us before he could ever feel safe at school. We chose to homeschool the rest of our children because Zola was the only child of school age — aside from Lucas — and showed signs that the major changes in our family were going to cause her difficulties in school when coupled with her developmental difficulties that still deeply affected her life at the time.

As a result, Zola was ready for 2nd grade when the time came to enroll her into public school again. She began the year with self-confidence and positive outlook about attending public school. Lucas was very nervous but had enough time with us to begin trusting us when we told him his teachers will keep him safe. We spoke with his teachers and they took measures to reassure Lucas as well.

If you decide that homeschooling is the best educational choice for your child, but you’re nervous about the commitment and time involved, remember that you do not have to make a lifelong commitment. If you need support or have questions, you can e-mail me, post questions in the comments or look for a homeschooling group. Most major cities have local homeschooling groups with splinter groups in small towns. You can also check out Yahoo! Groups and surf the web in your favorite search engine for online groups. Ask about homeschooling in any adoption group, and you are likely to find a variety of homeschooling families to help you get started.

Copyright © 2007 Becky Wilson. All Rights Reserved.

homeschool, home school, homeschooling, homes school older adopted child, homeschooling your older adopted child, older child adoption, homeschool older child adoption