Haiti Trip #3 — Leaving
As I mentioned mentioned in my previous post, this month is two years since I traveled with my mother-in-law to spend a week in Haiti with Rhett and Claudia. It was an amazing week! One that I have carried with me every day for two years. Today I will share about leaving them behind–again.
Words cannot describe the pain the night we took the kids back to the orphanage. Rhett and Claudia knew the routine. They had experienced it with me when we left them behind six months before. And they had witnessed it happen many times with their peers. By the time we reached the gate, they were withdrawn and held onto me as if they hoped they could cling to me forever.
The other children at the orphanage were already sleeping so I led Rhett and Claudia to their beds. Rhett’s spot was on a thick wool blanket stretched out on the floor with several children already sound asleep. Claudia shared a bottom bunk with another girl. No blankets to cover themselves, no pillows for their heads. We were all in tears by that point, and when I told them to lie down, Rhett began sobbing.
At that moment, I regretted the trip. I was so angry at myself for putting them through that trauma. How on earth could I be so selfish? Just because I missed them so very much and longed to hold them in my arms, did that give me the right to disrupt their lives? They didn’t ask for this!
I hugged them one more time, told them I would return and walked out of the room, sobbing as I walked down the stairs to wait for my ride back to the hotel. The truck had gone back to the hotel to shuttle more parents and children so I sat on the step sobbing with the other parents who already said their own goodbyes. One came out and said she saw Rhett on his way the bathroom. He was still crying. The pain in my heart was excruciating.
A few weeks later, I heard from our adoption coordinator, who knows my children well, that my visit had a more positive affect on them than negative. Claudia, while still shy, became more outgoing and smiles more. Rhett became more confident in himself. I am fully aware that the negative will effect their adjustment once they arrive here, but I also know the positive will pay dividends as well.
Never once did I imagine that they would still be waiting in Haiti two years later. We thought for sure they would be here with us by the end of that year. When that did not happen, we assumed that they would definitely be here by the end of the next year. Never did we dream that it would be possible to spend nearly 3 years trying to bring home these children. It was unfathomable.
Sadly, it is in fact a reality that we are about to face if Rhett and Claudia are not granted visas before July 2008. We are hoping and praying they will be here by the end of May, but even that is quickly fading with each passing day.
Copyright © 2008 Becky Wilson. All Rights Reserved.
International Adoption, Inter-country Adoption, Haiti Adoption, Travel to Haiti, Haiti, Trans-cultural Adoption, Trans-racial Adoption, Adoption, Older Child Adoption
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