Parenting After Adoption

On the 1st of May 2005, I arrived in Haiti for the third time in 14 months. My mother-in-law traveled with me. It was a wonderful opportunity for her to become acquainted with the homeland of her Haitian-born grandchildren, volunteer at their orphanage, and most importantly, meet her grandchildren waiting in Haiti.

For me, it was an opportunity to spend some concentrated time with the children at the hotel. This was not our first meeting. That took place six months before when we traveled to Haiti to bring home our son, Lucas. We stayed in Haiti two extra days so we could meet and spend time with Rhett and Claudia. Rhett spent the two days with us, but Claudia was only with us for just shy of 24 hours. We knew, though, that we wanted to be their mom and dad. As soon I held them, I knew that I could never walk away from them.

As we pulled up to the gate at the orphanage, I wondered if they would remember me. It was a quick visit, and we did not tell them any information about ourselves nor intentions, though I knew they might have wondered or inferred. So if they did not remember me, I would be okay with it. Still, I hoped for some smidgen of recognition, and if it either of them expressed it, I knew it would be from Rhett since Claudia is, by nature, very shy.

We pulled through the gate into the driveway of a large house built with cinder blocks and cement. I walked into the building up the stairs to the second floor. As I reached the first landing, I looked up and there Rhett sat behind railing with several boys his size, the two middle fingers of his right hand in his mouth. The boys were laughing and poking at one another, but as soon as our eyes met, Rhett stopped. I could see him gasp with recognition. Be still my heart, he recognized me!

“Èske w sonje m?” I asked. Haitian Creole for “Do you remember me?” Rhett vigorously nodded his head as his eyes grew large with cautious hope. It took a few nano-seconds for us to process the experience. Then, as if on cue, we both lept into action. We ran for the top of the stairs where Rhett met me full force, knocking me off balance. As I recovered, I felt a second pair of arms wrap around my other leg. Claudia!

I imagined that Claudia would be sullen and shy, barely eating, as she had been during the 24 hours she was with us during my last trip. Instead, I had the privilege of being the first “outsider” to see her gorgeous smile and enjoy her silliness and cuddles. I learned that she does not like her hair styled in puffs, but loose hair, twists, and braids are great. I also learned that she can eat and eat and eat and eat. Both could, and I gave them traveler’s diarrhea by feeding them too much and letting them eat all the snacks I brought.

Rhett was loud and active with an infectious laugh. When he was happy, he was very, very happy and such a silly goofball. When he was mad, he was furious and ran off. If I was able to grab him before he got away, he would squeal and squirm to be put down, but as soon I did, he would run back into my arms and snuggle. Under that crusty exterior of anger is a sensitive little boy who just wants to feel safe and loved.

They enjoyed the books and Play-doh I brought, and they would live in the swimming pool if I had let them. Their favorite foods were oatmeal and Haitian red beans and rice. Of the snacks I brought, they preferred the granola bars and trail mix over the graham crackers and peanut butter crackers. They slurped down every drop of water like dry sponges. My mother-in-law and I introduced them to baseball, and they loved that.

{ Read Part Two }

Copyright © 2008 Becky Wilson. All Rights Reserved.

International Adoption, Inter-country Adoption, Haiti Adoption, Travel to Haiti, Haiti, Trans-cultural Adoption, Trans-racial Adoption, Adoption, Older Child Adoption