Parenting After Adoption

It was nine months before I was able to return to Haiti. But I returned as I had promised L. He later told me that he believe that I lied to him and that I was never returning. I don’t blame him. Had I known it would be such a long time before he would be ready to travel, I would have visited again. Each month we kept thinking it would only be another month or two. Before we knew it, nine months went by.

For months I had dreamed of the day. Once I was finally there, it was a surreal experience. I was rendered speechless when we met L’s mom. I had a list of questions that I had brainstormed, but I left it at home. The best I could must was expressing our love for L and assuring her that we would provide him a good life in America. We took photos, handed out gifts to children and staff then our translator urged us to leave and go straight to our hotel. When someone “in the know” in Haiti says to get going, I get going. So the goodbye was quick and heartbreaking. I’ll write more about that experience in another article.

At the hotel, L seemed to enjoy himself. Although, anytime he thought we were taking him back to the orphanage, he would become sullen and express fear of returning. Once assured he was not going back, he perked up again. We spent the two days visiting with R & C and hanging out at the hotel. There was a swimming pool, a koi pond, turtles and a lot of stairs going this way and that way. We watched some TV, ate, played with the kids and went to bed early.

The morning of departure came. We knew by then that we were going to proceed with adopting R & C. As soon as I held them in my arms, I knew. When we arrived at the airport, I was once again torn between two worlds. My home in America and the home of my Haitian born children. I have been in adoption limbo for over three years now, and I can not remember what life was like before experiencing the heartbreaking ordeal that has become adoption in Haiti.

We checked in at airport then went up to the food court to buy some soda to settle my nervous stomach. I perused the shops a bit before we went down to the departure gate. At the sight of the huge airplanes, L grew nervous and his signature smile was gone. As we walked out on the tarmac, he grew even more afraid. When we arrived at the stairs, L dug in his heels. No way was he walking up those stairs! I panicked for fear he would throw a tantrum and we would have to carry him on the plane kicking and screaming. This is where my limited Haitian Creole proved very helpful. I was able to assure L that the large plane was safe and I was there to keep him safe. He was still reluctant, but he walked up the stairs on his own power.

As we were getting seated, a Haitian man seated next to us asked if L was my child. I told him yes. After I said something to my husband, he realized that we were all together. He was shocked that my husband is white, that I am white and that L is black. He asked me if my husband was okay with the fact that my son is black. I then realized where his mind was going and explained that we adopted L. Clearly that scenario had never occurred to him!

When we landed in Florida, L kept saying, “Paket avyon! Paket avyon!” Many planes! Many planes! Yes, there was indeed many planes. Thus we embarked on introducing L to life in America. Some time after 11 p.m. on November 2, 2005 we walked through our front door. At last, L was at home with our family. Over the coming weeks and months, I will continue to share our adoption experience.

Tomorrow, I will post my first installment of the Tuesday Top 5 Book Series. On Wednesday, I will share my experience meeting L’s mom and how that experience affected me. On Thursday, I will lighten things up by sharing some fun stories of life with an older child who was adopted from another country. And on Friday, I will talk about homeschooling as an educational option for children affected by adoption.

Copyright © 2007 Becky Wilson. All Rights Reserved.

Haiti adoption, Haitian adoption, traveling to Haiti, older child adoption, inter-country adoption, international adoption, trans-cultural adoption, transcultural adoption, trans-racial adoption, transracial adoption