Parenting After Adoption

As with the previous entries, these are taken directly from my journal.

I know that many of you are wondering if I will ever write about my visit with Lucas. Even my husband is probably wondering when I will share the details with him. I have started many times, but I can never finish. Either I would end up in tears or I would find myself unable to finish sharing what is so very dear to my heart. I’m only three sentences into this writing and already my heart is full and my eyes are wet. Yet I must write before I begin to forget the details.

So what happened? I began the process of getting to know my son.

We played together, talked, and cuddled. At first it was rather odd to finally hold Lucas in my arms and talk to him. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking or what he knew about me. I was afraid that I wouldn’t know him in person, but I knew exactly who he was as soon as I saw him.

I called out and ran over to him. I had dreamed of that day and had envisioned many scenarios, but I continued to remind myself that it would not likely happen as I had dreamed. Lucas just sat there looking at me with interest as I knelt down beside him and one of the nannies told him that I was his mommy. So I sat down in the nearby rocking chair to rock with him.

When I showed him the photo of our family that I keep in my wallet, he did not seem to realize who I am, but when we were at the hotel, I showed him copies of photos that we had sent to him. He gasped and his eyes grew large, twinkling with excitement. He pointed to me in the photos, pointed at me, and asked, “Ou?” (You?) I smiled and said, “Wi! Mwen.” (Yes! Me.) He visibly relaxed and smiled at me. I believe it was then that he realized that I was his “manmi nan Amerik la” (mommy in America) that had been writing to him.

Over the next three days, I had the opportunity to get to know Lucas. He has a sweet tooth like any child and probably would have eaten every granola bar in my bag if I had let him. His teeth are very healthy, which surprised me. I assume this is partially due to the lack of sweets available to the children whereas there seems to be one candy related holiday after another here in the United States.

He was good about asking permission before taking any treats, but was also this way to a fault when eating meals. It took me a few meals to discover that he thought that every bite of food required my permission. Once I was finally able to make it clear that the drink and plate of food was for him and that he could eat and drink as he wanted, did he finally eat freely and show that he has a good appetite.

Lucas and I met on his birthday though he did not appear to have any familiarity with birthdays, his age, or celebrating birthdays. I was told this is common in third world countries, and it certainly makes sense. When you are just trying to survive, your birthday is just another day to live. However, this did not prevent him from thoroughly enjoying all his gifts. I couldn’t help myself and brought him several including a little blue and red tote to carry them in. I’m sure that they have been absorbed into the community by now, but for a few days he had his own things labeled with this name. I wonder if that was the first time he had anything of his own.

Copyright © 2007 Becky Wilson. All Rights Reserved.

Haiti Adoption, traveling to Haiti, older child adoption, inter-country adoption, international adoption, trans-racial adoption, trans-cultural adoption