Are we conspicuous?
So, this is my first official week as a SAHM. (I am loving it, by the way!!) Cameron and I have been going out and doing stuff already. Mostly errands… Yesterday we went to the post office (an errand I usually ran during my lunch break) and to the library (an errand I never had time for). For some reason, everytime we went somewhere I felt like we stuck out. I felt like people were staring at us trying to figure out if I was the mom or the baby-sitter. (Because my husband says I still look like a teenager on the days I wear a T-shirt and no make-up…)
I also felt like people were looking at us and could tell that Cameron was not biologically mine. He does not look African American. Everyone tells me that. He does have slightly darker skin, but my husband has some Native American ancestry, so my hsuband has slightly darker skin which tans nicely. I am white as a ghost. I don’t tan, I burn. Cameron looks like he could biologically be my husband’s child. Truthfully it does not matter one bit to me. We went into the adoption process planning to adopt a full African American baby (because less families are open to them and we were, we assumed we would be ’saved’ and only shown to those expectant mothers.) Then we got the call about a biracial child already born. Of course we jumped all over it. We truly did not care if our child was black or biracial.
Where are these feelings stemming from? Is it because I have never had that time out in public with him? Sure, I would run errands occasionally on the weekends and evenings when I was working, but not often. Either we would go out as a family (which for some reason never made me feel conspicuous) or I would leave Cameron home with Daddy and run my errands. Everyone told me there would be an adjustment period after becoming a SAHM. I just did not expect the adjustment to be getting used to going out in public.
**I do want to clarify that I am not ashamed or embarrassed in any way by my son or his skin color. I am simply exploring feelings here I did not expect to have after 10 months. These feelings were supposed to happen at the beginning and I was supposed to be over it and used to it by now.**
June 5th, 2007 at 12:56 pm
My sis quite often gets mistaken for the babysitter, as she’s young looking as well and her daughters are biracial…
It’s interesting. I still find myself all the time looking at kids and their parents, and noticing similarities and who looks like whom. I don’t know if it’s just natural, or if it’s because I don’t how much our son will look like us one day, or if it will bother him that he doesn’t look like one of us….
June 5th, 2007 at 1:54 pm
LOL. I never think ANYONE is the babysitter. I think EVERYONE is the Mom, and have insulted a few babysitters and grandmas. Unless someone straight out asks you if you’re the Mom, always assume that people ARE thinking you are the Mom. It will help to give you confidence in public.
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