Parenting After Adoption

So, I am at the end of my first full month of blogging on here. I am loving it. When I started I was concerned I would not have enough to write about, but I keep coming up with great ideas. So far I have covered the basic terminology and I did the short series on how to treat members of the adoption triad. I am loving the Monday Manifesto and look forward to finding more blogs to feature. I am going to discontinue the Friday Fun. Quite frankly, I am just not having fun with it. I think, for now the only meme I will do will be the Monday Manifesto. (more…)

This list will have a lot of overlap from yesterday’s list of How to Treat Expectant Mothers. It is a much shorter list though. For some reason, I hit a block while trying to come up with these. If you see anything I missed, please let me know and I will edit the list! (more…)

First, I must say I have never been an expectant mother and I have never been a person considering placing my child for adoption. So, I may miss some major issues or I may focus on an issue so minor it was not worth mentioning. I am not trying to offend or upset anyone. I am simply sharing what I have gleaned from months of reading blogs, posting on forums, and listening to all sides of the triad. (more…)

Today I am moving on to how to treat adoptive parents. I actually thought of less topics for this subject, so I will only spend one day on it. And there is a decent amount of overlap from the prospective adoptive parents as well. (more…)

This week’s Monday Manifesto is a blog by an adoptive mom. I actually just discovered her blog about 2 weeks ago. I was so drawn in that I read every single post. I read every day for about 4 days while Cameron napped. I am now caught up! (more…)

1. Are you as close to your friends from school days now as you were then?
No. We try to stay in touch via e-mail but we all live so far apart now that it is hard.
2. Do you tend to have a large group of friends or a small group of VERY close friends?
Small. I am a hard person to get to know. I don’t open up very easily and I use my husband (who is overly bubbly) as a crutch. (more…)

I am going to tackle the don’ts today. For some reason I came up with a lot more of what not to do…

-Don’t ask about their fertility status. It is none of your business and for people who suffered from infertility, it is a very painful topic.
-Don’t tell them they will get pregnant after adopting. Many adoptive parents find this insulting. Personally, it makes me feel like my son was adopted as a fertility treatment. That is not true. He is not a means to an end. He is my child. (more…)

I am going to spend a few days going over some of the do’s and don’ts of how to treat prospective adoptive and adoptive parents. I may even try and hit how to treat expectant women considering adoption and birth mothers. I posted this topic on a forum I beloing to and I got a lot of great ideas. Thanks to all who helped!! If you have any additional ideas, leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail. (more…)

I had a comment left on the post Adopt is a verb, not an Adjective that I am going to try to respond to. Amanda said:

This is the first time I’ve been to the site so I’m still looking around but I can’t seem to find a post on adoption if one of the parents has a criminal background (such as dwi’s and what not..)? Do you think you could write about that I think that would be a useful post. Especially for me since my husband has erm a colorful past but we are having an awful time conceiving and I would like more information about this! Please let me know!

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This week’s Monday Manifesto is another blog by a first mom. I just recently strated reading the blog of Paragraphein. She is a first mom who placed a daughter in a fully open adoption. She went on to have another daughter, whom she is parenting, a few years later.

I have learned a lot from her. It is another persepctive of a first mom who is working for change. She has helped me to get a glimpse into the mind of a first mother. I actually only discovered her blog a couple months ago. I spent a week going back and reading ever single post because I was so drawn into it.

Another passion of the writer’s is mental illness. This is an area that I know little about. And I have learned so much from her. I have come to realize how rude and hurtful it is to to make snide comments about insanity. I no longer say people must be insane when they do something I think is different. There really are people with mental illness who can’t help it. I should respect them.

This woman is a truly gifted and talented writer who has been through a lot in her life. She has learned from and grown through her experiences. And now she is helping to educate others, on both adoption and mental illness issues. Please check her blog out. Learn something from her. Admire her writing and her accomplishments.

1. If, for one day, you could flip-flop lives with any celebrity, who would it be and why?
Angelina Jolie- She seems to do so much good and seems more down to earth. Plus her kids are darling and I would love to spend a little time with them!!
2. If, for one day, you could flip-flop your significant other with someone else, who would it be and why?
Only one person? Let’s see… Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Noah Wyle, Josh Hartnett. How do I choose?? Whoever is available first, I pick you! (more…)

Here is a story from the Beacon News called, ‘With Love One Family Creates a Full House.’ It is a truly touching and inspiring story about adoption. The family chose to adopt from foster care to complete their family. However, the birth parents kept having children and the family kept accepting them. They now have 4 special needs children all born to the same mother. (more…)

There is a debate going on over on one of my forums I belong to. One adoptive mama asked why some people chose to pursure fertility treatments and did not move directly to adoption. A lot of people have been offended by the question and by some responses. It got me thinking. (more…)

When I first started the adoption process, I saw an article similar to this. Then I wrote an entry like it for my personal blog a few months ago. But, I think this is an important topic, so I am covering it again. (more…)

This week’s Monday Manifesto is a blog called Letters to a Birthmother. This is a blog written by an adoptive mama. E has one son, Woob who is almost 5 months older than my son.

I ‘met’ E shortly before Woob was born. They waited for a long time. I missed most of the wait and got there in time for the good stuff! E and her husband were working with the agency we were originally working with. And they lived in the same area as us! It was a friendship made in heaven! (more…)